Did you know… the average wedding costs between 30,000 and 51,000 dollars in most cities?! Not to mention, the amount of investment and preparation causes a great deal of stress and pressure, pressure to make the day perfect. So, how do you deal w this stress and pressure on your wedding day? Psychotherapist Dr. Erin Leonard is here to help! Here are her suggestions:
1) Don’t lose the meaning of the day. Often the bride and groom get so caught up in the details that they lose sight of each other. This makes them vulnerable to crashing when something small goes wrong.
How do you stay grounded and connected to your fiancé?
A) Have a “sit down” and each person identify their 3 most meaningful components of the wedding. On your wedding day, focus on these things and stay committed to ensuring these things happen for yourself and your fiancé. Stay a team. The most magical and memorable weddings are the weddings where the bride and groom seem in love and attuned to each other. Details don’t make the wedding – the love between the bride and groom does.
2) Don’t sweat the details
B) Stay focused on the meaningful components of the wedding. The details will take care of themselves. Do not sweat the small stuff on your wedding day.
3) Mishaps, conflict, and drama are easier to handle as a united front. Stay connected. This translates to the future as well.
Minimizing conflict on your wedding day:
Conflict is difficult enough on its own, but on and around your wedding it can be even more intense. The pressure, stress, and complications of a wedding can be overwhelming.
4) Conflict is usually either a misunderstanding or a fight over who gets their way.
A) If misunderstandings are not cleared up, they can erupt into a sizable issue. Try to understand the other persons perspective.
B) When the conflict involves 2 people who are fighting to get their way, the fastest way to resolve the conflict is, again, to try and understand the other persons perspective and come up with a compromise.
C) Prepare- already having had the discussion w your fiancé about what is important to them and why should already minimize conflict and misunderstanding.
Example: Many couples fight about the wedding list. The bride wants to invite her cousins from Toledo, but the groom doesn’t want to blow the budget, so they go around and around arguing about why they are right.
A) Understand why it is important to both parties : groom because he wants to put money down on a house and doesn’t want to spend it on additional and unplanned wedding expenses. Bride: Her cousins helped her through a tough time as a teenager and it meant a lot to her.
B) The Solution is a compromise… Both bride and groom pick one thing they can sacrifice on the wedding day to cancel the cost of inviting additional guests. i.e. The groom can cancel the grooms cake and offer cigars instead, and the bride can have her sister do her hair and make-up instead of a professional.