Relationship advice from an expert

Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Today on Indy Style, Dr. Bennett Pologe, Author, “Stop Lying: Getting Un-Lost and Un-Stuck in Your Life,” says there are parallels between acting and psychotherapy. Dr. Pologe reveals secrets to love and happiness in his new book about how lies derail our lives.

On today’s show, we learn:

• Why we believe the lies we tell ourselves
• Why our defenses are so resistant to change
• How psychotherapy enables us to change our negative perceptions of ourselves
• How long you should remain in psychotherapy and when to stop
• The differences between couple counseling and individual psychotherapy

Dr. Bennett Pologe, a psychologist and the author of STOP LYING: Getting Un-Lost and Un-Stuck in Your Life, is also an actor and singer. For more than 30 years he has noticed parallels between acting and performing and psychotherapy. “They’re quite similar pursuits,” he says. Whether in his office with a patient or with a script in hand at rehearsal, he’s asking the same question again and again: What’s really going on with this person, with this situation, what’s he really about, regardless of what he may say he’s about?

And in the past 30 years of asking “what went wrong in this person’s life?,” a common answer has emerged: “I see a single error that is central to so much of what goes wrong in our lives,” says Dr. Pologue. “Whether we have relationship problems, problems at work, problems with family, phobias, obsessive problems, irrational depression, irrational anxieties, difficulty enjoying life, difficulty loving people and being loved, whether we chase and get involved with the wrong people or the wrong substances, if we get involved in domestic violence – as aggressor or victim – literally anything that brings a person to my office, I see a central, common mistake we make. It’s a mistake any of us can understand and begin to work with.

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